These are the few things I love about you, and they aren't just all.
I love the way you stand: looking humble yet so macho and tall.
I love watching you take those quick-paced, steady steps until you're out of my sight.
I love it when you already know something, then we argue, and prove that you're right.
I love the way you're sometimes always late, despite not at all moving slow.
I love the way you'd carry your big black bag wherever you go.
(Sometimes I do wonder what other things you carry besides your books.)
I love the way you flip your hair and care so much about how it looks.
I love playing tennis with you, laughing at your failed service and how you run.
I love that pink tint on your cheeks and the way they'd flush more under the sun.
I love that the fact that you wouldn't mind to accompany and have dinner with me.
I love that you would order "telur bungkus" and generously share it for free!  :p
I love playing CS with you although I'm always getting a headshot.
I love the way you're enthusiastic about something, and you'd laugh a lot.
I love the way you smile cheekily, sometimes naughty, sometimes just sweet.
I love the way you eyes sparkle whenever you start to speak.
I love it when we're discussing things and the topic got astray.
I love your accent, the tone of your voice, and all the things that you say.
I love the way you talk, your words and how they sometimes got transferred.
I love the way you mumble something and refuse to repeat afterwards.
I love it when you can never get serious about anything that is serious.
I love it when you give your opinion- straight honest yet unbiased.
I love the way you'd frown, looking confused whenever you don't get something.
I love the way your vanity shows when you claim (it's true, though) that you're good-looking.
I love the way you dress you hair to class just to obey the ethical needs.
I love the visible creased smiling curves you have on the side of your lips
(and how they're still there though you're wearing a serious expression.)
I love that you're so cool and relaxed in any given "life-threatening" situation.
I love your creativity, products and wonderful skills at multimedia.
I love the fact (it's so cute!) that you would actually trade the world for DotA.
I love to hear you call my full name, pronounced wrongly and tried repeating it.
I love it how you would brighten any conversation with your humour and wit.
I love the way you'd subtly give in whenever I asked of you something.
I love the way you know I'd do my best to help you with anything.
I love the way you look in your photos, whether recent ones or old.
I love it when you'd force me to wear your sweater (although you're the one feeling cold.)
I love the way you'd mock and twist my words that are wrongly said.
I love it when you're always there, in times of good and bad.
I love the way sometimes you're so difficult for me to comprehend.
I love the way you already touched my heart and make it so hard for me to pretend.
I love the way that you're not perfect but the most perfect guy I know.
I love you so much-
it's almost impossible for me to hold back-
although I'm afraid that my feelings might already show.

Yesterday was a super long busy day.

I went for 3 rounds of bowling at Riverside, Kuching. 

Then, go kai kai with my sister at Spring.

We watched Breaking Dawn till 7.30 p.m. The movie was horrible~!

It focused too much on the unnecessary scenes and skipped all the highlight of the movie. Waste of money and time.

I had a slight headache soon after I came out from the movie hall.

Perhaps it was due to all the thinking throughout the day. No, the week. No, the month? Oh, whatever it is.

I was feverish as I got home. So after taking my bath, I headed straight for the bed.

Suddenly something funny came into my mind. 

Amidst those dizziness and confusion, I thought of a person who I have been thinking about lately.

"Lately" here I myself dare not identify specifically when. 

I couldn't recall when exactly I started having these anxious feelings of wanting to hear from him, always.

Sometimes I get upset whenever he's not replying my messages. 

It's kinda weird, because we're only friends! 

I don't know what changed my feelings for him. I used to see him as the unfriendliest person alive in I know (not going to say "in the world" lol) 

But as I know him better, I discovered that he's a truly wonderful person to befriend with.

 I love that he can never get serious about ANYTHING. 

He cheers me up with his jovial, care-free and happy-go-lucky personality. But sometimes, he can be quite cold. It's like he has a split personality. 

I was all along afraid that I might annoy him.

I enjoy every moment spent with him. Deep inside, I hope he enjoys my company too.

I don't need him to like me. I just need him to not mind that I really care about him. 

I wish there's a way I could let him know that I want things to stay the same way.

I want him to feel comfortable around me, because I know sometimes I may act like a weido.I talk weirdly, behave weirdly. I even dress weirdly. 

Perhaps the only way I can express myself is through writing.(This is one of the reasons why I predicted I could never marry in the future! Haha~)

Gosh, I'm now crapping all these mooshy swooshy stuffs here. 

Anyway,

I could never guess what demon or supernatural force had driven me that night into doing something I thought I would never do- even if reincarnated. Almost impulsively, I confessed to that person that I like him. Mind you, I added there "a lot".

Not wanting to know what's the reply, my systems shuts down and there I was, drifting off to Slumberland....

This entry was about my sleep.

It was a nice 20 mins of sleep. Super refreshing. I felt as if those tiredness from insomnia and restless nights since arriving in Kuching...suddenly all gone!

                                     ...and it shook my fever off!     :3

When the heart seems to fail the mind.

Love hurts. Yes, it does. Sometimes it inflicts a pain so hurtful that you feel numb and cold inside. However, the moment your heart is broken, your mind opens to a completely new perspective on life. You learn to appreciate things more... little things in life that you've never realised before. 

Love is not blind. Who says so? I don't know if love is blind or sighted. Sure, it is blinding when it strikes you unexpectedly. 

I don't know how people can actually define love. Love isn't always wonderful. I see love as a challenge: whereby one has to be prepared to battle between rationality and beck-ism. (urban word. lol. ) 

Despite all the labour and sweat you had to put into it to make it work (and knowing that it could eventually come to an end at any moment), in the end it sure feels worth it. Nobody ever knows why. 

Perhaps, there's lies the magic of love. 

I thought I found love the last three years. He was my ex. I loved him for his sensitivity towards a girl's feelings, but that was before he broke my heart. I'm not going to blame him for what happened between us back then. Indeed, I found myself falling in and out of him, with each time, I see more flaws in his character, and I had never thought that I could actually forget my feelings for him now. 

(Mind, I haven't used the phrase "forget him" because I'm not a senile old woman...! How can I FORGET a person...?)

Well, I learnt the hard way that I have to move on, eventually. There's no use putting too high of hope into a relationship that I myself is quite uncertain with. 

A friend long neglected (his name's "rationality") once said, 

"If he honestly cared about you, one bit he wouldn’t have left. Not the first time, not the second time, not ever."

It struck me then. Suddenly, I felt those invisible ropes that once tied me to my feelings had broken. I knew then that I have to open my heart and mind if I want to be loved again.

This is quite true. I find myself in love again. 

And I learnt to not expect too much from what I dream for. 

I'm not sure if this is love, but I'm in love with this feeling;

feeling like a child again; jovial and carefree. 

Something I learnt as I know this guy. 

It's a weird kind of feeling. 

I'm not expecting to have any relationship with this person although my feelings for him has been growing until today. I find him so endearing and charming now. 

I used think that he's cold and unfriendly. I was wrong. He's all warm and kind.
I enjoy his company. :)

He gives me this warm and fuzzy feeling inside me... butterflies rocking out in my stomach...! :p

I want to stay like this forever. (seeing me crapping like this, wow. epic!)

Perhaps I made it too obvious that I adore him. Perhaps he knows it already.

Even if the feeling's not mutual. But who cares? 
Nevertheless, I hope that he won't try to distant himself from me after knowing how I really felt for him. It would really break my heart.
I'm really content at our friendship now. :))

He told me this, 

"We learn the mistake today, 

that's what we gain."

(Gosh, he sounds so handsome when he speaks this. lol xD)

Yes, I'm not afraid to fail now; I'm not afraid to take that fall for him.

Even if there's no future for us, (there's a big 'gate' between us! :p )

I'm glad I knew him! He changed my opinion about how love should be.

To love does not mean to have. 


For me, I still can't define love, but all I know is that

 it sure does exist in you...

when there's a desire to be close to the person you care 
about.
(Despite not knowing what the future may hold for the both of 
you- 
and even if you're unsure whether there is one.)


I know it exists when...


You'd do your very best to keep that person safe and happy 
even if they're not in your company, not within your reach.


You still don't know why those feelings exist at the first place.
In your heart, you're secretly wishing that they'd feel the 
same way for you,


yet foolishly forgiving if they fail to feel the same way.


That is LOVE for me...


How would YOU define love...? ;)

Dittos in expressions... and feelings.

Ever had that gauche moment when you feel like someone is being rather emotional for a particular reason– which you don’t know? And you somehow feel that you are to be blamed for that bad feeling he/she feels.(?) 

Such an emotional torture and perhaps, is what I'm already destined to go through forever.

This is not the first time I am diagnosed with a common disease familiar by the name PARANOIA: 

the feelings you have when you think others are always trying to pick on you. 

The quirk matter of my case is how I am always gutsy feisty about whether is it really JUST ME? 

Could it possibly be something concealed from your knowledge and sixth’s sense? What if he/she really IS pissed at you? I wouldn’t know.

What I’d often do is ask the same weary question of “Are you okay?” 

and get that same sick answer: “Yeah, I’m cool.” 

Yet I'll still be stuck with that same frustrating frown on his/her face! 

Then again, I can’t always place myself in such agony of having to butter that person up to make up for something I didn’t do- well, at least something I NEVER KNOW what I did). 

Nor can I ever ignore and just walk away. 

Sometimes after long useless effort of trying, I would chose to keep quiet instead and give the same cold treatment because I know for sure, that’ll help to reverse the situation. He/she will instead start asking if I'm okay. If I'm lucky enough, I might even manage to dig the truth out  from that person too.

What would you do if you’re being forced into such intricate position?

Inevitable it is, and very natural for people to show what they feel inside on their facial expressions. People frown when they’re stressed. OR angry. 

That’s the problem! I never understood such complexity of human facial structures and how it can affect people so greatly (people like me, specifically, if I’m not one of the population).

 That’s the science we should all start wondering about.

Think of it like a mapping process: You frown, I frown.

My Confidant

I couldn’t put any single word to describe him. This, I know, might be temporary. Otherwise, perhaps the unconscious side of my brain telling me that I’m only doing this to get his attention. Well, that side of the brain is absurd! Anyhow, he’s exceptional- whether or not the feeling’s temporary.

I wonder why we never talked that much back then. Didn’t we have the chance? I guess I was too overwhelmed by my relationship back then, that I hadn’t realise how I really enjoy every single word from him. He got me addicted to learn more of what he would tell. I love his never-ending brilliant ideas and outlook from a freaky, yet innovative perspective about things that people wouldn’t even care to note. The idea of a man with high intellectual level of mind really fascinates me- I don’t know why- and I find that quality in him.

Then there were those few of ‘a split of second’ where I pondered about little crazy things like; what if I had met him earlier?; What if he’s mine?     

Don't get me wrong. I'm just being too observant. And I love English Language too much to keep this to myself...!

It kinda makes me sad, you know. I've been reading some unfriendly posts and statuses in Facebook; deliberately typed in a way that it SHOULD HAVE hurt the feelings of those they hate.
The problem is, their so-called 'sarcasm' just don't seem to ... um, work (?) - because their grammatical errors. (perhaps, they shouldn't have posted those craps in English!)

Sometimes, they would even use words and phrases that make them sound too desperate of wanting others to notice their 'expressions of hatred'.
I find these kind of people are really amusing...They're great to be laughed at...! :p

Please stop humiliating yourself. Post your offenses in a language you're really familiar with. Don't act with such obvious imbecility when you're calling other's stupid. Speaking of dramatic irony I learnt in Literature class. Haha...
Do you think that it is cool to mock others in English? Yes, it certainly is! :D
Provided that you won't make a fool of yourself. :))

Please show some respect for the language.
Thanks for reading! *wink!*

Not angry. Not jealous.

Funny, i didn't feel anything at all. Not angry. Not jealous. I was frozen, yes, but perhaps because of disappointment. He needn't say much to make me understand. He found someone else after so long "waiting" for me all these while. I never knew why I couldn't let myself to trust him wholeheartedly since we broke up. Now, I understand. My intuition is finally true. He's not the one for me. I'm so relieved that he'd finally moved on and found someone who could make him happy. No, I don't regret that I used to love him. The only regret I have is that things would not be the same after this. We can't even be friends. That's just too bad..
I wouldn't say that I'm going to stay single after this whole complicated relationship; I'm not a feminist. Haha... But if things are cool this way, I want to avoid being involved in any boy-girl relationship. Having someone special may cause distance with family and friends, when he slowly replaces them in your heart. Even worse, something that God has given me as a blessing- to be loved by someone- could be the reason I'm led further away from Him. I don't want to repeat my mistakes. I wish to find someone who could lead me to become someone better. An ideal Muslimah. I hope to find that someone later in life when the time's right. Not now. InsyaAllah.  

maybe it's because you're a Scorpio :))

Dear People born between October 24 - November 22,


Others are always telling you that "From your look, I always thought you are a serious person..!"
No, you DON'T look like a lioness... (as mentioned  in a Scorpio friend's Blog)  


Maybe it's because you're a Scorpio ..! :p


I'm always studying people's horoscope and their personality. 
One of my findings is that Scorpio people tend to be misinterpreted as serious and considered "intolerable" but these are only first impressions...! 
As I know and learn about Scorpio people's character, I could understand that it is NOT in their nature to give out fantastic impression to others upon a first acquaintance; 


so that no one will expect too much of them. 


And at the end of the day, these Scorpio people make great friends we can rely on for ANYTHING, because they would sacrifice ANYTHING to keep the people they love happy. 


Below are extras of my observation about Scorpio people, if you wish to know more of their character. These are based on my researches, experience, comparisons and similarity I discovered when living amongst Scorpio people. 




- Loyal

(TRY THIS: Be honest with a Scorpio friend. In return, you will gain an amazing friend who will be loyal to you and never make false promises.)

- Practical

(They are super-down-to-Earth people. They reason for everything they do. They can give you a logic behind even simple actions/decisions they take/make.)

- Perceptive

(Scorpio people are usually first people who will notice any changes or queer about something. Something that a person could only notice after about 10 times of studying something. A Scorpio person would have noticed it years before Ice Age. They are intuitive and observant people. )

- Passionate

(Passionate in relationship? Passionate in career? Just name them. They are very devoted in upholding important ambitions in life.)

- Obdurate 

(You'd better have strong lines and assertion if you are to debate with them! They are firm with what they believe. It's hard to influence them into having another set of judgement about something.)

- Imaginative 

(Scorpio people are imaginative. They like to express their thoughts with words and just seem to always seize all the right vocabulary and words. I still can't figure their source of inspiration..! But a Scorpio friend once told me they get inspired by the things and people they love.)

- Jealous   

(They can get REALLY REALLY jealous when it involves a person they love, but they don't really show it; usually suppressed jealousy. Somehow, I could notice the signs but I'm not going to discuss about it here.)

- Obsessive 

(This is the main factor of their success ..! :))  )

- Energetic 

(Keeping up with their bouncy lifestyle is a fun challenge! :D)

This entry is dedicated to those Scorpio people in my life:     
   My eldest sister, Ah Ming
   Syahirah Aisyah (flytothezephyr)
  Adik angkat, Miey Shukor 
  Muhammad Syukri Arabi
and to all those unmentioned names (bear in mind that I didn't forget you, I just couldn't remember you. :p ) 


I love you just the way you are. 
(Not quoting from Bruno Mars! He's the one quoting from me.. xD)
  

When hearing your voice is NOT ENOUGH..!!! -___-

I found out that Incubus will be performing live in Kuala Lumpur this 23rd July.
Contemplating of whether to attend the concert...or not. *BIG SIGH*
I can't afford to buy those expensive tickets.
Anyway, 
An insight of my feelings if i EVER had the chance to meet Brandon Charles Boyd of Incubus... 








In that private tryst at only four seconds
Lover, let me indulge in the beauty i see 
in your soul, they captured your smile
and how the lights made those eyes 
shine like your sweet essences
Of the thoughts in your head... Could you tell me 
what's going through your clever mind?
Touch me with your words, your voice
a holy to my ears, Sing to my heart.
I'm never weary of those desires.
Have some mercy, be kind and gentle 
Sweet, sweet darling;
I need to learn what has been fated for us?
before our first rendezvous ends.









Call me crazy- cuz I'm really head over heels and 'crazy' about him.
Perdón por mi mala Inglés .. y en español.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ MY FIRST LOVE ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Be prepared to face the childish side of me... tee..hee... :p

This entry is all about my first crush... ♥_♥ 

_________________________________________________________________

Brandon Charles Boyd of Incubus ♥   ♫♪!❤♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥✿

______________________________________________________________________

I had my first crush on Incubus in the year 2001.. How old was I at that time... nine..? 
Wow, it really had been a long time! Nevertheless, I'm still at head over heels with this band.. My true love.. ♥  
                                                      
How we met...? 
Thanks to my dearest sister.... (Our DNA code is 99.9% similar)    
I heard the song "Drive" and the beat goes...•*¨*•♫♪❤!♪♫✿  
Straight into the deepest core of my heart.. 
I fell in love immediately with Incubus.. 
                                                                                       

 The lead singer, Brandon Boyd has a very VERRY (fill in the blank here) voice..!    

So talented... So.. So.. Perfect. With his heartfelt lyrics and music coming together, 

they produce wonderful songs...

Some other of my all time favourites:

     Wish You Were Here      

     Stellar                            

     I Miss You                      

     Black Heart Inertia        

     Admiration                     

     Agoraphobia                  

    Are You In?                     

     Paper Shoes                   

     Warning                         

     Martini                           

AAaahhh..!  EVERYTHING LHA...! Tee..hee... 
I really wish I could watch them perform live in front of my eyes..! Wondering when would that ever happen... -___-


Here, I'd like to share some photos of Brandon Boyd...
:)


____________________________________________________________________

BRANDON AT EARLY 20's...

BRANDON AT EARLY 20's...

_____________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

BRANDON AT EARLY 30's...

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Smile...

Ever knew how meaningful a smile could be..?

A smile :)  could...

Show that you love and care about someone.
Melt and warm the coldest heart.
Impress and seduce any man on Earth.
Liven up the worst day.
End all feelings of hatred, envy, and disgust towards others.

So start smiling and let's spread this contagious disease..! ; )


:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)